Step 1: Don’t assume. . .

So here I am. I’ve read the important rules stuff about how to play WH40K. I’m thumbing through my Tau Codex. My Gundam army is slowly taking shape in my mind. And so I grab those clippy things from my Build + Paint set. I sit down in front of my first sacrifice: My Tau Fire Warriors.

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Spoiler: Mine will never look like those on the cover.

Snip, snip, snip, and the plastic membrane peels away. I don’t smell the box – as that would be weird, and there was the sound of loose pieces so I felt like extraction was the best option. So I open it up and sure enough – Plastic!

Plastic for days. I’ll be honest, it was a little intimidating (it still is) as I had no idea where to begin. Luckily there is an IKEA-style book that comes inside with “suggestions” on how to build up your gang (troops).

Here we go clippy things! Into action!

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I did it! I successfully navigated the prong jungle this set of legs was attached to and set them free without any bodily harm to them or myself! Win-win, folks!

This is where life threw a curveball at me (because it can’t be smooth sailing, right?) and I uncap the glue that came in the Build + Paint set and I go to squeeze some on my homie Tim (there are some who call him. . . Tim) and. . . Nothing.

Maybe there’s something in the passage, I think to myself.

Let’s open this baby up then, I reply, in my mind.

So I stick a piece of bent up fast food straw into the passage/nozzle and I go back to trying to glue Tim to his base. Again, nothing.

What have I done to be forsaken in this way, I think to myself.

It’s not your fault, I hastily reply in my mind.

The glue, a third voice chimes in, it has to be the glue.

And it was. It was totally the glue. See, Games Workshop is a British-based company, so when they say their glue is thick, you best believe that it is going to be THICK. So, I cap it up, set it at a downward angle towards the nozzle and I go about cutting the rest of Tim’s team loose. After a few sharp inhales, a handful of clipper flips and re-flips, and a couple of muttered curses at the slowness of the glue – I finally get the fire team “standing.”

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So there’s Tim at the bottom left, and behind him on the left side of the squad are: Flint, Colin, Paul, and Chaucer. On the right hand side of the squad we have: Tucker, Alex, Kyle, Neville, and Ron. The missile cluster droid support I named Johnny-5, because nostalgia that’s why!

So optimistically, I’d say I’m halfway done with these bad boys. Realistically, I’m maybe a tenth of the way to getting these guys ready for paint. There’s a lot of options with these guys so even though they’re only legs right now, you’ll start seeing personality once their torso gets attached.

That’ll do it for this installment, though. Next time though: Torsos (and better glue), so be sure to tune in – same clippy time, same clippy channel!

I’ll see you at the gaming table!

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